It's almost the weekend! Hope your well (2/2-2/9) 

Howdy folks, I woke up this morning thinking it was Friday and I thought well I made it, only to figure out it was indeed Thursday. I spent all of yesterday extremely sick, I left work early and was in bed from 1 pm until 6:30 am today and I feel as if I have been bulldozed by 3 trucks and my abs are so sore from all the vomiting I did yesterday all I can think of is come on 2 pm because I am going straight home and hitting the bed once again. It is a funny thing when you get sick because your day just goes down the drain and whatever you had planned gets thrown to the side and nothing matters in those hours your laying in bed in pain dealing with cold swings, then hot swings, then the shakes. It definitely was not a good time and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, that said man this week seems to have dragged on but most of that could be due to my sickness for most of the last 2 days. I had to meet a client for training and that didn't happen, I was suppose to get some flyers printed and that didn't happen and I was suppose to send something off in the mail again and that didn't happen. I have just been reminded by my watch that my move ring didn't move much yesterday, um yes thank you for that reminder. I don't have much for you all this week, I am feeling a little beaten up and tired and I keep thinking of witty or interesting things to say and I got nothing. I am excited about the next few months though, if you had a chance to listen to us on Chi-Native Radio on Tuesday then you know how much we got to look forward to. The guys have a show on 2/10 at Inn Joy in Wicker Park and then in March we head to Mexico to film 2 music videos and a mini docuseries which we will release in several parts on Idealraps youtube, then in April we are off to Nebraska for a show. We also are currently working on the follow up for Music In The Woods which will be in August. So much to do and so little time which also means I got no time for being sick. I am looking forward to the warmer weather that is on the way as I believe we only have about 3 weeks of winter left and spring will be here. I am ready for the long sun filled days and warm nights where we are not bundled up with layers and waking up to darkness and going home from work in the dark as well. That is all I got for you all this week, short and sweet is what I'll call it, although if you were around or near me yesterday there was nothing sweet going on. I'll be back next week with more to chat about, until then take care of yourselves, your loved ones, and  make sure your work everyday towards your goals because they won't manifest themselves. #MyBlog #ThrowEmC #FeelingBlue #RestAndRecoup #HopeYourDoingBetter

I'm not feeling this week-you? (1/27-2/2) 

Hey there you guys, it seems like this week has really dragged on and at a slow pace, what do you guys think? I had originally started this blog post on Monday morning and then became so consumed with work both at my day job and with Chi-Native as I have started to prepare for the follow up to Music In The Woods Music Festival. I am sure by now we all are aware of the tragic helicopter accident that took the lives of 9 people on Sunday 1/25, Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gigi, Mr. & Mrs. Altobelli and their daughter Alyssa as well. In total 9 people lost their lives in such a tragic accident and we will never know why these things happen all we can do is rally behind those suffering and hold them in support. I came across a post on twitter that hit me: R.I.P to those whose names aren't being mentioned. Your life was equally important and blessings to the families for all parties included. I felt this statement although this was a tragic accident there are so many that have lost loved ones and they weren't mentioned or mourned publicly, their pain is just as equal. We all will suffer at some point an extreme loss, we all will suffer pain from losing someone dear to us, let us all remember those in their time of need and may we embrace them as well and not just those who reached super star status. That said the Grammy's were also held that same night (Sunday) and it really seemed so unimportant and irrelevant, I didn't bother to watch partly because it seemed silly to watch stars all dolled up celebrating their lives when others where dealing with extreme heartache and pain. In addition I don't necessarily like Alicia Keys as a host, to me she just comes off as trying so hard to show others she is authentically herself but I don't necessarily buy how she tries to sell herself to others. This ins't shade, she is just annoying to listen to and her weird smirk she always does makes me cringe, so watching her host the Grammy's wasn't on my priority list as well as there is just so much more going on in the world that celebrity shit just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I am having an off week, I am normally full into the work mode but today and throughout the week I have been feeling like I am on the slowest train to the weekend and I won't ever reach my destination, like seriously. I love the weekends where I don't have too much to do and where I actually get some time to just be and not have to worry about where or what I need to be doing. It doesn't happen often but when I do get a down weekend I relish in that ish for real, I take every opportunity to do nothing besides hit the gym and then unwind mindlessly with some Netflix and a few refreshing libations. This past weekend we ended our Sunday with a studio session and it is really such an integrated process to see it all come together and when you are working with one of the best in the industry you really see how much better they make the track become. The guy we work with is truly talented and one of the best we have come across in the vast time we have worked at pursuing this music business. To see the whole song come together from artist vision to the mixing the engineer does and how he adds his own edits or as I call his magic it is mesmerizing because the end product is so much better than you could have imagined. It is so exciting what the crew is working on collectively and the vision that I.Deal had for this collective work is really showing his ability to produce hits and its amazing to see the 3 guys come together on a track, they are all so uniquely different but together so so dope. I do want to finish up this blog up with a few thoughts that have really hit home over the last week, I may have not known any of the passengers on that helicopter but what I do know as a mother myself is the undying love you have for your children and I can only imagine the torture Mrs. Bryant is going through with not only losing her husband but one of her babies. That said, life is hard, there will be times when it will be really hard, hard being a mother, a father, being a kid, a student, an employee, hell just being a grown up is hard. Relationships are hard, losing friends is hard, losing loved ones is hard, but some say with time it seems like it gets easier, but maybe we just get used to it being hard? I really don't know and I don't have all the answers either, the highs, the good times we experience in our lives can be so so good, but then the lows can be really really low, so we all try to do our best to find balance, right? Finding that balance isn't easy and can also be really hard so we all must love and seek out joy and bring those into our lives to share those feelings and experiences even if we know it may be temporary or fleeting, we have to choose to love our life even when its hard because it can be gone in an instant. Find the people that love you and love them back and love them unconditionally, shoot all the shots you want in life because we only get one go around. Life is complicated, it is weird at times, but one thing we are constantly reminded of is how fragile and amazing our lives can be, I pray you all will be ok when times gets hard and I pray you find or reach out to the helpers that are ready to give you a shoulder to cry on, they are there I promise you, you never have to walk alone even if you think you do. Till next week guys, be good to yourselves, be good to others and be the light in a world that can be really cruel and dark at times because we all could use some sunshine every now and again. xoxo, ThrowEmC #MyBlog #WeeklyBlog #ThrowEmC #MyThoughts #LifeIsHard #BeTheHelper #ShineYourLightn #YourNeverAlone

Tuesday - The most boring day of the week. (1/13-1/19) 

Hola mi gente,

     So here is Tuesday and by the way what is Tuesday's purpose in our lives, it is a whatever type of day, too close to Monday and too far from Friday, am I right? Anyhow, I hope you all are doing well and return to this work week refreshed from all your weekend activities and hopefully had more good times than not so good times. As always this blog is to reflect what's on my brain at a particular moment in time and this week there is something I want to discuss and it stems from instances where women have said to me, "I'm too old, I don't want my face in pictures." The first time it happened I was at a media event and someone asked me and this women to take a picture, but she declined. Now at the time,  I shook it off and thought to myself well maybe this person is particularly sensitive about aging as I am aware it does bother some people more than others. I go on with the night, so fast forward about 2 more months I'm at another event and a women asks me to take a picture and she is doing it for her social media platform and I'm there with my team and I oblige no big deal. Someone on my team turns to me and says they would like a picture with this women as well and I turn to ask her if she could take a picture with the team and she says to me, "Oh no, I don't like my face in photos, I'm too old for it." I'm puzzled because now in the span of two months I've been told by two different women in a business environment they don't like their face on camera because they have deemed themselves too old. Saying out loud to someone, I'm too old, I don't like my face, and no one wants to see me in these photos is so sad to me, sad for anyone to diminish themselves based on the idea of their age in numbers. I gotta let everyone know right now, neither woman were hard to look at, both fit, both gorgeous hair, very well put together, great smiles, I mean I just didn't and don't get what the issue was. Everyone knows them, they are regulars in the music scene and for them to say they can't turn the camera around on themselves because no one wants to see an old lady is crazy to me. I want to know who told them there was an expiration date to being in any one industry, who told them they shouldn't show their face because they aren't in their 30's, or 40's. Why do we allow outside voices or opinions of others to alter what and how we feel about oneself? I also want to mention I had seen probably about a year ago someone go after Trina on social media talking about she is too old to do music and when is she just going to leave and keep it to the younger ladies. These trolls are just funny, not only do most of them just sit behind a computer or phone screen in a dirty ass home with absolutely nothing going on in their lives, most of them wish for a fraction of not only her notoriety but also her monetary wealth. It baffles me that we as a society want to be all inclusive and don't want to bully each other and blah blah blah but we're still out here telling women when their time is up and to turn the camera's off. I mean why would both these women feel this way, again they are well known in the music scene here in Chicago so they are seen and quite often. In addition, I have also been told by an associate that they are in awe of how comfortable I am in front of the camera and how do I do it. Let me be the first to say I don't put myself out there to the world on my social media because I adore it, I do it so you all know this is me, I am a real person and to identify with me, I don't try to hide behind any facade. I don't particularly give any attention or thought to my age, but I never have either, the only thing I know for sure is I wake up every day thankful, thankful I get to see another day and thankful I am still here with a voice and in good health, my age doesn't ever cross my mind. I want to know why some think that there is a time clock to what a women should or should not do, how she should dress or not dress, what she should look like or not look like and matter of fact when her allure is no longer their definition of good looking! I am aware especially in the media that ageism is a thing but isn't it ironic that the ones that are "hot" now won't be in say 15 years? I mean they won't have that "it" factor as they do in the now but one thing for sure is, we all will age, we all will lose that "youthful" glow but that is a reflection that we have been living our lives and is that not the point? We are dying from the minute we are born, we age at such an astounding rate from infancy through adolescence and some may think of themselves as youthful but the reality is every dawn we wake some of our youth has slipped away while we slept. I say this though, what is most important is that we arise to see another dawn, another day to share in all the joys that life can offer , another day in which to create memories with those that matter most to us. To anyone out there worrying about what they look like, if their too old, to this, to that, stop and just be, because all we really know for sure is we got right now! Till next week my sweets, be kinder to yourself, to others, walk in the light, stop and smell the roses, do whatever makes your soul smile because happy looks the healthiest. #TillNextTime #Smile #SayCheese #LiveItUp #MyBlog #ThrowEmC 


Here we are January 2020 

Hey my babes, it definitely has been a minute since my last post but I did need some time away and we have been extremely busy here within Chi-Native. We did our first toy drive ever for The American Indian Center in Chicago and not only did we exceed our initial toy amount we crushed it. Our initial goal was at least 100 toys and at our last count it was over 250 toys and we were able to fill over two large tables for the Holiday event. I can not stress enough how much joy it brought us to be able to do something like this and for those that matter the most during the Holidays, the kids. I can't thank those enough, our family, our friends, and a few local businesses that went out of their way to help us collect toys, it really is magical to come together and do some good. We were also on break from Chi-Native Radio as our station took a Holiday Break during the last (2) weeks of December, we all got to enjoy some much needed down time and spend some quality time with our families. Those of you who may not have caught our radio return it was Jan 7th and we had a special guest in studio with us, Cruixe FX. The team had a good time talking about his upcoming year and what he has planned and we got the opportunity to play two new unreleased songs from his upcoming project he has in the works. This year the Chi-Native team will be working on finalizing several out of state shows as well as we will start planning for our Music In The Woods music festival follow up which will still be held in August but we have not confirmed the date just yet, stay tuned. So much is happening in the world right now, the poor devastation that has struck Australia, the war, the impeachment, not to mention the mad man in office constantly tweeting about his unfair treatment and as he calls it the "witch hunt is" that is happening, naw homie you've not done what's in the best interest of our country, you've only done what is best for you and we the people are over it. I really wish we could all see we are all human, we all need help from time to time and that we are all more alike than unalike. It appears in this day and age too many have forgotten we are one - the human race and together we can do so much more good versus bickering and tearing each other down. So, speaking of tearing each other down, what is happening with folks thinking it is ok to think out loud? Now I know your like what the hell is she talking about, and what I am referring to is this constant need from others to comment on other people's bodies especially those of women. Now I don't advocate that one type of body is better than the other, nor do I constantly try to push any agenda I may follow onto others because I know what works for me may not work for others and I am also aware that we each are dealing with issues that may affect our overall health at any one given moment in time. All this stems from the fat jokes and the meme's that have started and are trending in regards to Lizzo when they have used her image in regards to the war and as of most recent Tess Holiday who recently shared a front cover photo spread of her and her two boys for Parents magazine. It is appalling to see what people write to them or say about them as if what their bodies look like matters to the jerk writing comments behind a keyboard, more importantly from so called "fitness experts" like Jillian Micheal who say why are we celebrating their bodies? The nasty comments that people leave wishing death on them is horrid, like who the fuck are you?  I mean I don't celebrate anyone's body - big, skinny, average, short, tall, whatever because it's not my body, I don't house it, I don't live in it, so what does it matter and why would I care. I am over everyone thinking they know best, those that are smaller don't necessarily mean they are healthier, and a larger frame doesn't mean any less healthy either. Lets also not forget that each of us face different issues in regards to our own health at various times in our lives, I mean the last two years were hard as hell for me. I underwent knee surgery in late 2018 and took all of 2019 just to heal and it has only been within the last 3 months that I have been able to run without swelling and pain, on top of that right before 2018 hit I had to also underwent 2 hernia repair surgeries and let me be the first to tell you that was the most intense pain I have ever woken up from after surgery, I suffered so much pain and I struggled with my recovery for almost a year just in terms of my hernia repair surgery and I had several set backs from both surgeries. I gained more weight and on top of it had to deal with some gut health issues which I am still trying to figure out at this very moment. Am I skinny, hell no, am I overweight, yep but guess what- it fucking happens and not once did I stop working out and try to maintain some level of fit while enduring all these challenges. I have always been on the heavier side of the scale and only at one point in my life during my late 20's very early 30's was I able to get what others said was "skinny" and you know how I did it? I ran over 18 miles a day (ran for 1.45 hours on average) I then did a complete weightlifting routine (another 1.5 hours) and I didn't eat a damn thing unless it was a liquid protein shake or eggs, meat and cheese and I am serious that was the extent of what I would consume. I stayed within a 15 g a day carb count and if I felt like I didn't like what I ate, I threw that shit up. I got to my smallest at a size 4, started to experience extreme hip pain and to top it off I could no longer use the restroom without taking a laxative daily to help my stomach woes. That last part might be TMI but it is necessary so that others can understand, I may have been skinny but I definitely was not healthy, nor was my relationship with food or myself healthy. I ran (and I kept over 3 years of logs) on average 120-130 miles a week and never took a rest day, so I developed a slight hip fracture which required me to slow down my running completely and my doctors had warned me I had to stop my particular diet because I was going to cause irreversible damage to my intestines and once they stopped working they don't re-start. So did I get "skinny" yes, but was I happy? The real answer there is no, no I was not happy and my turning point came when my boyfriend started to pick up on my habits and he said something very simple to me - he said "isn't the point in all you do to be healthy?" He said, " you are not happy and vomiting isn't healthy so wherever your weight ends up being at so be it because your always going to be you and that's who I care and love." It was the simplest thing to say but once I heard that everything changed for me, I decided to stop trying to fit into a mold that I was never truly meant to fit into. I mean this mold that I assumed was healthy was received from all my fitness magazines and advise I would receive from fitness folks in the industry (let me tell ya, what they put their bodies through, how they deplete themselves for comps isn't healthy either) I just could no longer maintain and quite frankly I was exhausted, my damn workouts would take about 3.5 hours on a daily basis. At my leanest I weighed 156 lbs and was a size four and told my doctor I wanted to weight 125 lbs he told me that wasn't going to be possible based on my body frame and amount of muscle I was carrying and that trying to get that small would cause me more damage than good. It's crazy how tiny I got but in my head those numbers on the scale were the devil and I was chasing something that I couldn't reach nor did I need to, I was chasing a number that I had seen over and over in fitness magazines as my ideal target weight but it was in fact not accurate for me, my body, my health. I am not skinny, I probably won't ever be "skinny" again but I don't need validation from anyone, I have found my balance, I have found my happy. I am strong, I continue to workout and have finally started to be able to run again for 30 minutes straight through since my surgeries (that has been my biggest accomplishment to get back to it without pain). I no longer throw up (haven't in years) and I accept me for me, I don't  need anyone to like what my body looks like and even though I have gained weight (and quite a bit, lol) I am ok with where I am at because I will never cease in my fitness journey. I will continue to workout 6 days a week, continue to have a good relationship with food and focus on goals I set for myself and no one else. I am very healthy, matter of fact I just had a physical last week, my levels are perfect, my resting heart rate is 54 bpm and I have no major knee or hernia issues as those seemed to have finally healed. I don't think in terms of how much weight I need to lose, I just focus on the healthy choices I make daily for me, for my mood, for my overall self. Let's all stop worrying about others, let's stop comparing what one person looks like versus the other, let's all accept and understand one size does not apply to all and simply - just worry and focus on yourself because trust me everyone is a little fucked up and no one is perfect. Stop judging others houses when your own damn windows are dirty and if you don't house their body then what someone else does is none of your business. We are all just peanuts trying to become part of the peanut butter spread. Till next week folks, as always take care others and yourself, don't let others dictate to you your worth. xoxo #MyBlog #ThrowEmC #HowYouDoing #GotWeight #Healthy #OneSizeDoesNotFitAll #HealthyHasManyForms #NewBlog

Teaching consequences, it's never too early. (12/16-12/22) 

Hello and good day my peeps, so here we are another week is back upon us and I just want to take a quick moment to say hello and acknowledge all those that keep up with all the things we are up to here at Chi-Native. There never seems to be a lack for content to speak on especially these days whether we are speaking on politics, mental health or child rearing. That last part brings me to my topic for this week and that would be parenting choices in regards to teaching children actions and consequences. That said I have seen specific post more recently made by parents that seem to state things like the following: I won't discipline my kids because they are over rambunctious at a party, I won't discipline my kids because they are over stimulated and are acting out because of the stimuli around them, or I won't make my kids be nice to you because they don't necessarily know you. It isn't just these statements that I have witnessed but more the behaviors I have seen while out in public more and more and the lack of consequences given to children while out for their actions. Example: I am at a grocery store there is a kid running up and down an aisle just screaming like a maniac while the mother isn't paying this kid any attention but there is also a wet sign on the floor. As you can imagine what is to come, this kid survives the first attempt at running up and down the aisle but wipes out big time the second attempt. Not once did this mother attempt to tell her son, hey stop running you will fall and might hurt yourself, not once did she divert her attention to him and talk to this kid to address his behavior, not once did she bother to speak to this kid about what was wrong. Needless to say now the kid is full on screaming and now the mom is omg, the kid has a busted lip, the mom is screaming for a manager and when someone arrives shes blaming the store, questioning why the floor is wet, she wants an ambulance, she needs to file a claim. I mean it was ridiculous, she didn't once mention what really happened, she didn't once explain to her son what he did wrong once he calmed himself down (this kid was 7 years old, so this wasn't a walking toddler or baby guys) I just want to know when did so many adults begin to think that they don't need to teach their children discipline, respect, manners? When did so many adults decide that children do not need to learn and understand that every action has a consequence? Folks wonder why their children won't listen to them, why their children are constantly getting in trouble at school because they won't listen or sit still. Children should not be allowed to do as they please, nor should they be allowed to act as they please and it doesn't matter in what scenario we are talking about either because you just can't do as you please in a modern society, as adults we don't get to just do as we want all the time and say what we want on a day to day basis, we have consequences for our actions. Tantrums for instance, why do so many folks just allow a child to go insane whether in a restaurant or at a shop, it is crazy to me that any parent just ignores the cries and attempts for attention while those around have to listen to those high pitched wails and screams. A parent needs to gather their own child and go somewhere else and deal with what is ailing their child and not just ignoring them while out and about in public. Parents when your child is in someone else's home or at someone else's event and they are jumping all over the furniture, breaking stuff, opening doors and going from room to room which is not inside their home you most certainly need to grab your child and address the behavior and correct it and if your unwilling to tell your child they can not do as they please in a place that is not their home then I would quickly be asking you and your child to leave because I do not have to allow for their lack of discipline and boundaries within my own home. It is vital to understand lack of parenting in the early years turn into bad teen years again resulting from bad parenting and at this point there is no resolve on how to address your adolescent teens behavior because you lost your hold on authority early on in their development. Exploring next the notion that you don't have to make your child be nice to those they do not know, being nice doesn't mean being naive but it does promote patience and awareness of your self and expressions you give. I can't understand why any parent doesn't think a child should know what being nice is, even when one does not want to, I mean we all have bosses and we all don't like our bosses but we do know how to be appropriate and nice in not just behaviors but in speaking and reacting to them because if we did not and we didn't engage accordingly we wouldn't have that job that is required in order to continue to provide a roof over our heads or food on the table. Hey I know no parent wants to be told how to parent, but there is so much more to be said for the type of parents that allow these behaviors and say nothing to address them. We can not allow children to think the world revolves around them because it does not, we can not allow children to do as they please just because they are children, these are adults in the making and they require lessons and teachings, not to simply be left to act out atrociously and nothing be done to teach them about carrying themselves appropriately when out in the world that will not cater to them. We have to raise our children to be self reliant, to be aware, to be sufficient, to be accountable and strong when the storms are hard, how can one learn these things when they are constantly allowed to be childish? Again these are adults in the making and it is our job as parents to aid them in growing to understand we all can make whatever choices we want however every choice has a consequence whether good or bad and each individual must face those consequences. People tend to forget that every day as your child grows so does their world of awareness and if we don't start teaching these young children fundamental skills early on we fail them as they age into adulthood hence what you see more and more today, young adults still acting like children whining about why me and life is unfair instead of rationalizing their own actions had consequences leading them to their current situation. I am aware many won't or don't agree with how I view child raising, I believe in discipline and if that has to also include some spanking after we have discussed your behavior, done the timeout, done the grounding, then so be it, because in the end sometimes that spanking was just what was needed because that bad behavior ceases to exist. (Now I do not condone child abuse - so STOP there, but if a little spanking is needed to their thigh/bum then so be it, I grew up in the era as well as my parents as well as my own son where spanking happened as a last resort after we spoke and tried all other outlets to explore the bad behavior and guess what we all turned out just fine, most importantly we all know and understand actions have consequences) Until next time folks, it's just me out here speaking on what I see, expressing my views and hopefully someone can relate to what I am saying along the way. We are all trying to do our best, but children require more than just our best, they require everything we got and being a parent isn't always easy, children aren't always easy but neither is life. Till next week, may you all walk through your days with your head held high, proud of who you are, and an awareness that you matter always. xoxo. #ThisIsMyBlog #ThrowEmC #Tantrums #WildChild #OhMy #Discipline #GotSome #ChiNative #Blogger 

Mid Week & we got some things to talk about (12/2 12/12/8) 

So as I sat thinking earlier this week of what I would touch on this blog the content literally jumped out at me from the computer while I was searching for my "What's Going On" topic for our radio show. Part 2 of the RTT series popped up on my timeline featuring TI and Tiny which would be talking about their marriage and what had caused Tiny to finally file for divorce after so many years of ups and downs within their marriage (they have since sought counseling and worked through their issues and remain committed and together). Tiny said that what caused her to make the move didn't just stem from his extramarital affairs but it stemmed from all the years she sat idle allowing him to be the sole breadwinner and allowing him to call all the shots. She felt like she had lost who she was and had built up all this resentment towards him because not only did he control the household financially she had also allowed him to have her take a step back from her career. Now I did discuss this article during our radio show on Chi-Native Radio on Tuesday night and what I would like to continue to discuss is this notion that any women should ever think to just stay home and take care of home life. We are living in this time and age that requires both partners to work in order to maintain a household because it is not 1940 and it is not fair to assume that one partner should be carrying the load of an entire household. On top of just the financial what about the career that said women decides to give up, what about her wants and desires professionally and her drive? Where does all that go once she decides o.k I'm just going to stay at home and raise kids, then we get into the whole discussion of children and the fact that the women is at home 24/7 raising said kids while the husband is gone working all the time. How does said women find herself again, how does said women move forward in life when the children no longer need a mom 24/7 because they become young adults? Financial is just one part of this discussion but what really happens is the resentment that fills up within the women who now feel alone, under-appreciated and also realizes there is a loss within not just herself but within her own marriage. Tiny said that she felt unheard, unseen that she felt he no longer listened to her, but my thing is how can you expect those things when you sat idle on the sidelines for so long, how can you be mad that your partner no longer seeks you when you have allowed your role to diminish in terms of equality? I don't understand how any women can think I'll stay at home raise kids and if this marriage doesn't work out he owes me some kind of payment? I am not specifically speaking of Tiny in this instance but of so many women who choose to stay home and when the marriage fails and their husband leaves due to cheating these women feel they are owed some sort of financial wealth because they stayed home to raise kids. I am sorry but you don't deserve much of anything other than child support to aid you in continuing to raise the children you produced together. The reality why most marriages of this kind of arrangement fail is due in part that you have two spouses who no longer connect on any other level other than being parents to children they had together. You have two people leading two completely different lives and when your spouse does come home they most times are mentally not available and consumed within their day to day life that doesn't match the home life. This is exactly where the resentment comes from and it builds up over a long period of time and usually explodes into anger and constant fighting and that is what I took from what Tiny was saying happened within her own marriage to TI, it wasn't just his infidelity which I know strained them obviously but it was also all her pent up resentment that she felt because she gave up on her career and allowed him to be in control and she felt she had lost her own voice. Relationships are a lot of work, it takes constant checking in with your partner about their feelings, about their wants, about their desires and most importantly listening and communicating effectively about issues that arise. Women need to stop thinking that once in a relationship they should give up on their own goals to take care of and nurture their partner, prime example I can think of is that simpleton Khloe Kardashian. She is the type of women that got into every relationship threw on her cape and decided to be her partners everything and cater to all their whims and in the end she was cheated on and hurt repeatedly because she always chose her partner over herself and her partner. If you didn't get that last part read that again. She didn't choose herself and her partner she always chose her partner which left her without a voice always sitting on the sidelines like a puppy dog.  Relationships are a two way lane and compromise is always going to need to happen and it must come from both partners. Children don't fix marriages, so if you have a child or two together and your the primary care giver and your partner rarely helps and your upset and say nothing the resentment continues to pile therefore having more will only add to your load and most likely your partners lack of help in child rearing will continue to be the same, so be firm in your decision to additional children within the home, speak up, be heard that more kids may not be what you want and explain why. Staying home, being a maid, being your spouses 24/7 on call and everything won't aid any marriage either because eventually you become invisible again allowing that load of resentment to continue to grow because you harbor feelings of look at all I do for you and you don't care. Losing your sense of self and not having a life outside of your home and children will not aid your marriage because in the end , no goals, no ability to financially take care of yourself set you up to fail all while continuing to allow for one massive fight that reveals the ugly truths within your relationship/marriage which is you simply have no common ground to come back together on, there are no shared or common experiences to share outside of the children or home you have together. Do not lose yourself while taking care of others, do not lose your dreams, desires and goals to appease one person in a two person relationship. Women tend to want to not be honest in fear of losing or upsetting their partner, women tend to think they need to do it all and one thing we must learn is we are not suppose to be our partners mothers or their secretaries, you were someone before you met, married, and became one with your spouse so continue to do and find things that are unique to you so that you and your partner can come back together and actually have relevant things to discuss with one another, enjoy each others milestones and achievements not just one person's achievements. We don't live in the good ol' days, we live in the now and now requires more of us individually and together in order to allow for growth and continued connections within each other. You must take control over your own narrative and not forget you too are important, your goals and dreams matter as well, and you must remember ultimately it takes two people committed to being committed even when times are trying and difficult because the grass is not always greener on the other side it may just have been an illusion. Till next week my sweets, take care of yourself, take care of one another and most importantly learn to listen, learn to speak up because no one can read your thoughts. xoxo. #ThisIsMyBlog #ThrowEmC #ChiNative #YouMatter #SelfCareIsImportant #GotGoals 

Tis the season - Good Vibes, Thankful, Giving Back (11/18-11/24) 

So it appears its been about 2 weeks since ya'll heard from me, part of that is we have been so busy with several projects and I can't wait for you all to see what we've been working at over here. It has been a very busy two weeks, the last blog was dropped right after the Halloween weekend and since then we have been working hard on several projects we got going on. Chi-Native is currently finished the edits for or label mates next video "Native" and it is out and available now on You Tube simply search WRDS1 or visit his tab on our web page and his video is linked there as well. The music video was all shot and edited by I.Deal himself, the team has also started working on their next project for release in 2020 and we spent all of last Friday night with the whole team and our brethren Evan as well making a hit, we literally could not have anticipated how well everyone would come together on this track and it is so good, the team is cooking up some real treats for you all. We then moved into Saturday filming a 3 segment interview with Evan for a series we will drop in the next few weeks. On top of all that we also shot a music video for I.Deal on the spot after we filmed the interview segments and I have to say being around creatives and creating content, music, videos it is all so inspiring because I love to say what's next, what are we going to do now. All this goodness and with that we also have the holidays rapidly approaching so for this Holiday season Chi-Native would like to give back as best we can. We will be doing a toy drive for the youth at the Native American Indian Center in Chicago and it is something I have thought about doing for years and I reached out to their director about a week ago and asked if they would accept and work with us in getting some toys to the kids. I obviously feel very connected to this campaign we are doing not only because these children are part of our Native roots but also because I really believe children should be allowed to be kids as long as possible and no child should go without a present during the Holiday's, so I ask any that read this would you help our campaign by either making a donation to us or dropping off a toy to any one of us on the team whether that's myself @Throwemc @MicLogik @WRDS or @Idealraps. The Holidays are a time of giving and reflecting on how far we've come through the year and also a time to give thanks for all that we have whether that's family, good health, or good fortune. I love to spread joy to those around me and I really hope you all will rally around us and spread some cheer as well to those often forgotten. I am so grateful for how far we have come over the last year and grateful that our audience continues to grow and that you all are recognizing the brand and connect with each of us. Thankful for every blessing and opportunity, thankful to still be here, thankful for our audience and thankful we have a platform to try and do some good every now and again. Always be on the watch - we'll be dropping I.Deal's latest video "F**k What They Be Saying" off is album GAINZ very soon. Sending all who need it vibes of love, light and peace, may you all remember you matter no matter what and if you rise to see another day that your still needed here in the physical realm so embrace each day with gratitude and make the most of it. Its Friday, stay safe, have fun, and we'll see ya next week! #ChiNative #MyBlog #ThrowEmC #Grateful #GivingBack #TisTheSeason


Hello and Howdy on this Tuesday! (10/28 - 11/2) 

I hope you all had a great weekend as I seen many folks out and about starting off the Halloween festivities this past weekend. I as well was out and about with the family hitting up some Halloween parties this year and I had a great weekend. I won't even get into the sad display we saw this past Sunday of the Bears as it seems the season has come to an end for us already, whomp whomp. On that note, I would like to get into this week's blog post and I will be reviewing our label mates latest music drop, Secret Sessions II. As some of you may know that actually pay attention to what we post we were awaiting the latest edition of Secret Sessions II from our brother WRDS. You can go directly to his page here above on the tabs and click his sound cloud link so that you can immediately find it. I decided to do a write up of the album and below our my thoughts and take on what he has put together for his follow up to Secret Sessions:

Butane 1: Superb introduction, the beat hits right from the start. He delivers quick flows with ease, he tells you from the get-go this is what he does – he’s a rapper to his core. Always representing his city, Chicago & his Puerto Rican roots, he is unapologetic about his abilities which are clear in every rhyme he spits

To Whom 2: Slows it down a bit, gives us an insight into his thoughts. If you’re an 80’s/90’s baby, you got to love the Winslow/Family Matters references on this track on his hook. This track is slower, but his word play doesn’t slow down he bounces his flow off this track.

Compass 3: Jumps right in and tells you his story, he continually allows you to get an insight into his mind and thoughts. Catchy and a vibe – you need an "I got this type" anthem this is it

Ungodly 4: This track speaks on tales of those not truly there for you and those learning lessons that only life and experience can give you. On this track he takes the audience through his realization that everyone isn’t really riding for you, that everyone isn’t in your corner unless they get something from it. This track is a mellower beat but full of truths and wisdom from his viewpoint and as best as he can tell it through his windows of experience

Follow 5: This song shows his complexities that boil inside him and the turmoil around him but also his triumphs in staying focused and being committed to himself and his family. He knows his strengths and his commitment to this life of rhymes and the continual pursuit of his goal to make it in this industry.

Headlights 6: Loving the use of his vocal cords showing us his soulful side and not just his rap skills on this track.

Native 7: Letting those know he does this and shows his word play skills off on this track. “Sleeves up and my boots on about to kill this shit no matter who’s on!” That line alone lets you know how confident he is in what he does. The way he chops his flow up to ride the beat at 1:26 is too cold and effortless, he truly understands that every song has a rhythm and cadence and his flow changes throughout each track allowing him not to sound the same time and time again.

Maintainin' 8: Closes it out with a smooth slower tempo beat but rides every rhythm of the beat. He consistently shows who he is in every song, unapologetic in his pursuit finding himself, making it and never quitting.

     Wrds delivers us another project that not only showcases his rap skills which are undeniable but also his thoughts on his journey thus far. The highs, the lows and the in between, the dealing with self-doubt mixed with failed/strained relationships that didn't make the cut. He takes you on a journey of not only reflection but self-growth while sticking to who he is and being unrepentant about it. This is an album that’s easy to listen to and may just get you to self-reflect on your own journey as well. Press play and sit back and enjoy the stories he reflects back to you the audience about growth, acceptance, letting go and believing in one’s self even when the critics want to speak louder. Wrds has come this far because he has not given up on himself, he is a man that continues to work on his craft day in and day out with daily exercises to challenge his mind and his word play and if you listened to his catalog of music you would be just as aware of his ability on the microphone. This is the type of dude you can invite to your studio on a whim drop a beat and he will not only deliver he may outshine you on your own track so beware. Take a moment to press play and allow him to show you that he was built for this. Till next week my beauties, may you all know your true strength lies within you and may you all understand the power that you hold in allowing yourself to simply believe in all that you are. Take care of one another, aid one another, most importantly live your truth day in and day out remorseless. #ChiNative #MyBLog #ThrowEmC #SecretSessiosII #AlbumReview #WeeklyBlogger #WRDSReview #TakeAMomentToListen #BeRelentless

Motherhood will get ya-buckle up (10/21-10/27) 

This weeks topic is not only late as I like to drop the blogs at least by mid-week but also a topic I am sure many won't agree with on my take and that is ok because I don't do what I do for a popularity contest, but I'm going to talk babies, sleeplessness, and breastfeeding all associated with these little bundle of joy's. It seems that everywhere I turn I am bombarded with women expressing as of late whether they're blogging, journaling, vlogging, that there's this never ending theme that (insert drum roll), "It's hard." I don't know why it's constantly addressed as if these little being's were gonna be easy and we were just gonna have them and boom life was going to go back pre-baby, I've lived it, been doing it, experienced it and let me tell you it all changes, everything. It is a hard journey, a selfless journey, a scary journey but one that I accepted as well as everyone else who decides to continue on with the pregnancy or chooses to become pregnant. It is such a journey trying to navigate what it means to be an adult, to finding oneself, to having to work and be a provider all while managing a new life that is yours to take care of and nurture. Phew, are you exhausted yet? My point is a baby is a lot of work, a lot of adjusting and choosing to have more than one baby is a choice and so many women I feel really ascribe about the added work, responsibility, the drain of it all but in the end if you have been through it once, you most likely should know what your up for again. I love my child with all that I am, but reality is he is an only child because it was a hard pregnancy, a rough labor, a lot of effort and work in raising him day in and day out, and even though I would choose it all over again, I was definitely a one and done kind of woman. My point is choosing to have more than one baby is on you and I tell people all the time babies don't stay babies and yes they are cute but they require so much more once being born. That whole baby thing wears off real quick when life hits ya with all of it's own expectations as well. I'd also like to mention the many partners/women that complain about child raising and doing it "alone". It always seems weird to me when I see woman/partners complain of the lack of help from their spouse especially if their partner was not hands on with the first child, or when women get pregnant regardless of how their partner felt about bringing another life into their reality and their partner is less enthusiastic about said pregnancy.  I find it hard when a spouse complains especially one that is granted the opportunity to stay home and raise their children about their significant other not being home a lot to help out with the child rearing when they maintain a full time job and are the sole provider of the family. I never quite understood stressing out your spouse with not being home to help when they are the only one bringing an income in for the family, the home and the lifestyle which allows you to stay home, I mean there really is only 24 hours in a day, right? I mention this because I have met countless women through my partner's job who all complain of this exact issue while having the luxury of staying home and raising the children they seemed to have wanted, but some things never seem enough I suppose hence why many end up in divorce. Now I also mentioned breastfeeding and my major problem is this so called "push" from so many women that say breast is best, I mean I don't care how you feed your baby as long as your baby gets what it needs for nourishment . I also understand your baby needs to eat but I don't want to see your enlarged areola and cracked dark nipples popping out while I'm out either. We are constantly bombarded with images especially on social media with women posting breastfeeding images, I get it, it's a natural thing, your breastfeeding your baby but why do I need to see it, why do they all feel the need to express the imagery over and over. Boob-baby I got it, great but enough already. I didn't breastfeed because I didn't want to, I had zero desire to do so and felt no type of way because of my decision, although I will say the nurses tried to make me feel guilty several times until I had to tell them flat out. "If you want to feed him, you whip out your own tit, but if not leave me alone and we will be fine with bottle feeding." My son is over 6'2 and a healthy strong 265 lbs young man, never was too sickly growing up, I mean he averaged a cold a year but can you believe without me walking around like a cow's utter he survived and thrived. It is vexatious to always see women state, "Breast if Best," I had my baby and five days later I was back at my college campus taking my finals, I didn't need the added stress of leaking and pumping every few hours when I had to get back to my day to day life. It is insane all the perception said women seem to have for those women who choose what is best for them, not all woman can or choose to breastfeed and that should be to each their own decision without bias from others. I really dislike the whole I am a first time Mom but seem to know it all dialect especially when it comes to breastfeeding, me and my son have a tight bond, I don't know that countless hours attached to my breast would have made us any more close nor again did I want that experience and shouldn't we take into account every woman's right to decide what's best for her and her baby? I really could also use less visuals all over social media, I know boobs are meant for breastfeeding but again I don't really want to see any woman pull their boob out on full display breastfeeding or not, I mean they make cover ups for that exact reason. I addressed these issues because again I see so many women on social media talking about motherhood, how hard it is, how hard after pregnancy is, or how hard it is dealing with a newborn and an older child such as a sibling, or the sleeplessness and the dreaded OMG I breastfed for 24 months it was so amazing, or the I can't believe how much my body changed. Now exploring the stresses, tiredness, needing help issues that arise, there is quite a simple solution and here goes - in those first few weeks home with my son what made it easier was when that baby slept, I too slept,when I needed help, I asked, when it seem stressful I reminded myself this to shall pass and all be but a memory let me tell you there is not truer statement to that! So many people/women forget our babies don't stay babies forever, the long days, the constant needing fades more and more through the years and one day you look up and they are off to college, forging ahead in this world leaving you to again rediscover yourself and who you are sans baby. I know I have been there, I have experienced the craziness of it all and if any women out here in this world had visions or illusions of an easy pregnancy (not me - I was sick the entire 9 months and lost 90 lbs) sorry it's not always the case, tired (get use to it, it doesn't go away) scared and stressed again, get use to it (it doesn't necessarily change but it alters itself through all their stages of growing) and the boob thing - do you and what you want but don't continue to say because you breastfed somehow your child is better off in regards to bonding, smarter or healthier than non breastfed babies because I do not agree, what's best is they eat and however that works for mom and baby is all that matters, boob or not. Your body changing, well that is just the result of being able to house and grow a living being in a very small space and if your body matters more than a healthy baby then stick to adopting dogs and save us all your tears and stories of sadness because your tummy isn't flat or you grew new stretchmarks and have some extra skin because this is a normal thing for plenty of woman. Again, I know this won't be popular opinion but I am not here to appease anyone or coddle them either. Parenthood, being a mother whether you have one child or multiple is hard as hell, there isn't any other way to put it, but even when the hard days seem to out way the good days them little smiles, or warm embraces even those snuck in "I love you's"  make up for all the other non easy stuff. Choose to understand what you can handle and don't expect more from others, don't tell other women that the breast is best because there are some women who simply can't and it wasn't a choice for them, stop complaining about how hard it is but choose to make and have more than what you can handle. This thing called motherhood/life is a roller coaster but just as there are some scary dips and drops that can happen throughout this wonderful journey just as in a roller coaster, there are so many squeals of joy that can and will be had along this crazy ride, lets take time to access what we want and how we can handle what we choose in this journey we get to do one time. Take care of yourself and each other, hold onto those snuggles a little longer, if the house is messy so what,everyone will live another day, tired ask for some assistance because closed mouths don't get fed. Wishing you all the best in your choices and your day to day lives, until next week choose everyday to live in the light even when the darkness seems to loom because the light always wins. xoxo  #ChiNative #MyBlog #MyOpinion #ThrowEmC #Tired #Stressed #ArentWeAll #Motherhood 

Is it almost the weekend? (10/7-10/13) 

Ok, guys I have a little confession, I have been really pressed lately for time and I really couldn't put too much thought this week into my blog but I do like to be consistent maybe not in terms of dropping my blogs on Monday's as I had been doing since I started these blogs but some weeks there really is not enough time to just sit down and focus on writing something slightly entertaining for you all. Truth be told I did have several topics in mind but they were also topics we were going to be discussing in some fashion on Chi-Native Radio so it would make no sense to re-discuss them here with you all (side note if you want to know what we discussed in detail from the radio show on 10/8 head  on over to our facebook page Chi-Native Entertainment to watch the re-cap of the show on 10/8). This week we wrapped up our second installment of Chi-Native Radio on 88.9FM and it has been a lot of fun interacting with you all and we really enjoy the feedback so keep it up guys! Folks that don't pay attention this is for you because we are getting told the radio station doesn't come through on the radio dial so, again I'll explain what's the 411. We have our own radio show now called Chi-Native Radio on 88.9 FM in Lisle, Illinois, now if your in the local Lisle area you should be able to hear us on your radio dial otherwise keep reading for the the best ways to hear/listen/watch us. You can always stream the radio show at or if your an IPhone user they have an app for ESM Radio in the app store simply download it. We also go live on our Facebook page: Chi-Native Entertainment and we do try to look at your comments and interact with you guys during the show. I do want to give a quick shot out to our show producer I.Deal, he really has been putting in the work to make sure we're organized and ready to go every Tuesday. He gets our topics printed out for us and always has the show set organized down to the goodbye that we do. It is crazy how much work really goes into this hour we get, we prepare all week by doing the artist song reviews and then we decide what we'll discuss with you for example, we wanted to do a movie review segment so we all went to see The Joker and after we had to discuss our thoughts. There really is a lot of prep time that goes into the show we put on for you all, we usually all meet up an hour before the show to review the show timeline and topics we will be discussing again and making sure in what order we'll discuss our topics. I am really trying to engage with you all even more so now, so if you go to my IG stories you may see polls or questions and it really helps with our programming to see what you guys are interested in. We know without you all that tune in there would be no show, that we would not have this platform and we couldn't be happier with how things are progressing for us all here at Chi-Native. I have to admit how ecstatic we all are to receive great feedback from you all about how the show is going moving beyond all we can do is get better and better, it truly has been fun doing this and it is so true that when you love what you do it really is never work. We here at Chi-Native are really progressing and making a name for ourselves and it has been more apparent because the last few times when we the crew enters a building or space the host will say "yo, shout out Chi-Native is in the building" that makes me smile from ear to ear since it confirms all my work is actually working - it is not easy but it is so much fun reaching these little milestones for us all! I truly mean it when I say we have so much more we are working on and I can't even believe the things we have accomplished over the last year, truly hyped about our horizons. In wrapping up this week's blog, I always like to remind you guys to take care of one another, show love to one another, extend a warm hello to one another, lend a hand to those in need if and when you can because we never know when we'll be on the other side of needing some extra TLC. You matter even if no one has told you so or made you feel such, you are enough even if you don't feel like enough, your days will not always be dark even if it has felt like such lately-there is always a new horizon daily and your dark days shall pass soon just hold steady. In this day and age remember if you need something speak up because no one can read your internal turmoil, you are never alone there is always someone willing to listen, someone willing to extend a hand, till next week my babes be safe and keep pushing towards your goals because the only thing that sucks more than failure is never even trying! #ChiNative #ThisIsMyBlog #ThrowEmC #ChiNativeRadio #WeeklyBlogger #GivingThanksForAllTheGood