Hello and It's Been A While, no? (November 2-8th) 

Well how the hell are you all doing since we have last had a moment to chat so to speak? If your anything like me you haven't done much of anything other than work and head home, unless your a selfish human being who thinks they know better and are wiser than the health care professionals. It has been one rough 2020, if dick stain Agent Orange hasn't created enough bullshit we American's then had to deal with COVID 19 on our own since the elite give zero fucks about the rest of us. It's crazy this all started in March the explosion of all this and here we are in November and we are nowhere near over this. I've known quite a few people who have had it and how hard it has been for them to recover not just physically but also financially. Many folks had to deal with an onslaught of horrid sickness, and some are still dealing with health issues even through the worst symptoms add to that the stress of not being able to go back to work and it is a recipe for disaster. It has all been very stressful and God Bless all those who aren't working and haven't been able to work. Our racial climate is at an all time high with Agent Orange doing his least to quell the racial tension, he has only provoked his constituents to come out of the closet with their hatred and racist antics. Police brutality and the countless murders of black, brown and indigenous individuals continues daily with no justice for our brothers and sisters. We are witnessing murders on social media often by the hands of those who are sworn to protect and serve met with no immediate justice brought for the countless families who have been victims of these merciless acts and traumatized by the police. If we can't compound more problems we are now facing a huge homeless crisis, with an estimated 40 million Americans facing eviction. This is insanity folks, there are so many with very limited resources barely hanging on to life support as it is financially, economically, and now we are facing eminent housing evictions. Here are some major things I have noticed within the past few months, first would be the many families I have seen sitting in various parking lots throughout the city and suburbs asking for change so they can feed their children and even more heartbreaking is seeing the kids just being kids with no real clue how dire their family situation is/was. I live in a suburb outside of Chicago, I grew up in Chicago so seeing a homeless person isn't some foreign site but it is so when it happens within the suburban community and your seeing many within a day's commute. I have also noted more homeless persons within our area and surrounding suburbs and again it is absolutely heart wrenching because most are elderly and that shit hurts like hell. I often try my best to find a way to bring them some food/drink so at least they have something warm to eat, but I know that is not enough. These times are very hard to comprehend, they are extremely trying times, it has been so hard to witness the sloth of society, the hatred and scurrility of society. I mean hell we didn't get a summer as we were all on lockdown and for some reason 9/6 hit and summer headed out without even realizing we had at least another 3 weeks of summer type weather that should have been in our forecast but no- it was rainy as shit and in the 60's. I mean, we're definitely rolling in the not winning zone right now on steady cruise control it seems. It is currently November 4th and we are still awaiting the Presidential election results, what we know so far is that this has been a record breaking voter turnout but what has hurt the most for me to see is how many folks still turned out and voted for a lying, draft dodging,  racist, homophobic, entitled, privileged, in debt, failed business man who has made his stance very apparent to minority and women voters. I can not fathom how so many chose him over humanity and I just can't fathom those that continue to say their vote doesn't count. You know I stay on top of social media and most of that is because it is the nature of my business but what is so sad again to me is those that turn a blind eye to his lack of character and morals.  I've said this over and over, I could never value or stand along side the oppressor and Trump represents that to me. You will NEVA get a seat at the table with your accents, features, roots and all the consonants and vowels in your last name, yet his supporters still stupidly play into it all to seek validation that you belong when in fact everything he has said is the exact opposite-it is shameful and you all are sell outs. I don't know what the future holds for so many of us, I am appalled that in 2020 we still have folks upset and racist towards others because of their skin color or ethnic roots, what I can say is that I am looking for brighter days and horizons where we can have some sort of true leadership which stands for equality and representation for all. I just wanted to come back this week with a few of my thoughts, I voted, I did my part. I will continue to live in the light, do good, be good but know this if you sided with the oppressor you and I could never be friends-Never. I don't wish any wrong to those that chose the oppressor, I simply will pray for you and may you live the life you deserve. This post is always my thoughts and feelings, this post isn't about debating with anyone - in the end you do you and I will do me - Period. I don't lead with disrespect and when I don't like someone's post, thoughts, ideas, I simply keep scrolling because I am an adult. Till next week folks, I'll be back to writing my regular weekly blogs, and thank you to all those who have read and reacted to my blogs lately because for the longest I thought I wrote simply for myself lol. As always peeps, stay safe, take care of yourself, take care of your loved ones and be the good you want to see in the world. #ChiNative #MyBlog #ThrowEmC 

How's it been hanging? (4/27-5/3) 

Hello my fellow friends how the heck have you all been? It has been about a month since I last wrote a blog and what I will say is it has been hard to want to write something since we have all been in isolation and really though not much has been popping off. I was off of work for about 12 days and I literally had no motivation to do much most of those days. I woke up when I wanted, maybe ate something right away then if I felt like a nap, I did. I would workout whenever I finally got around to it and most days it wouldn't even be until later in the evening which is so unlike me, I tend to like to get it done first thing in my day, but while at home it was like, schedule, what schedule? I will start this off by saying I know a lot of people are struggling at the moment due to Covid-19 and many are without work and an income, I continue to pray for us all that we come out of this all ok and sooner rather than later. Now that I have said that, I want to get into the things that are really driving me insane as of late. First off all the folks crying about needing their hair salon/barber, folks the last thing anyone needs to worry about is their hair and what it looks like at this time. Let's be honest, we have another month of stay at home orders so where exactly are you going to go that requires you to look prim and proper? I too am missing my nail tech because honey these nubs I now am rocking are not it, but I know what matters is the safety of not only myself but others I am around/live with, so in the grand scheme of things I will just have to deal with these damn nubs until I can safely return to my nail salon. I know we're all looking a little rough at the moment but I'll take healthy any day over just having my hair and nails done considering the current state of things especially as reports as of Tuesday stated we have reached over 1 million confirmed Covid-19 cases withing the United States. It is such a weird time for us all, but we must consider the most important factor here and that is to stay at home and stop the damn spread of Covid-19. Moving right along into my rant what is also bothering has to be all the parents complaining about school not being in session and being upset that they have to continue education at home through e schooling. Now let me be clear, I know schooling/education at home is not fun and at times challenging but it is a necessary part of the job you sign up for when you elect to become a parent whether you want to realize that or not the moment that baby is placed in your arms. I know how difficult it can be, I've been there, I had to be an active parent for my son during his formative years and we both lucky we survived considering there were many tears for both of us during those early formative learning years. Here's what I mean, I often would tell people it was like I went back to school as well and repeated grade school and secondary school. I am often perplexed at parents that don't understand that a school does not provide all the education, they are simply a tool and education must continue at home. I had to read text books to help with homework, I had to review material with my son to have him learn how to study and get ready for test. Do you know how many books I had to read over the course of several years in order to help him with book reports to make sure he actually read the book and formulated his own logic on what he read. I had to help him formulate an intro, a body and draw a conclusion for said book reports. Let me tell you, after working a full time job and shuffling him to and from whatever I had him involved in at the time was not fun, it was time consuming, it was hard, some days we were up till midnight getting things done, but it was my job. I decided to have a child and I knew what he would become, how intelligent (meaning how he learned and not allowing him to fail and fall through any educational gaps) and capable (problem solving, self esteem, self assurance) he would become would be a direct reflection of how much effort I gave him. This time right now is not about you and your hardships in being a parent its realizing you have to be selfless and give all that you can while they are young and within your care.  It is such bullshit to see and hear parents say they didn't sign up for this, or to say they don't get paid for schooling their kids and to that I can say those that have died due to Covid-19 didn't sign up to die either, they were simply exposed and couldn't survive the exposure. People are always talking about children being such a blessing well if you truly believe that then you shouldn't be complaining about getting all this extra time in with them because they will not stay small forever, they will not need you forever, there will come a time when they walk away and lead their own life and for some time you the parent will be on the back burner. I also want to rant a little about how many complain about feeding their kids, or kids asking for snacks, um who else has been feeding or providing snacks for your kids all these years? People need to wake the fuck up, you make them and birth them, they are YOUR RESPONSIBILITY and if you don't want that responsibility have one and stop because I've said it before, birth control works and is effective and am I not simply talking about prescribed birth control since there are many forms of over the counter birth control that do work you just have to be a RESPONSIBLE ADULT and unwanted pregnancies can be stopped. Children can not be well adjusted, problem solvers, thinkers, capable, functioning adults if love, attention and most importantly a parents time and availability isn't given. Stop complaining about the job you inevitably signed up for and give all you got, your greatest joy in your life should be your legacy you leave behind and that legacy will always be the children in which you made as they carry you inside of them because they came from you. I am wrapping up my rant as of now but lets remember this time folks, I hope you've learned some valuable things during this down time/stay at home order. I hope you've realized how precious life is as so many have lost their lives over the last few months and continue to do so daily from this ugly pathogen.  Perhaps you have realized how important contact is with those we love as many have had to isolate themselves away from their older loved ones and those that may have auto immune issues in order to protect them from exposure. To all the new mother's having to give birth in isolation during such alarming times and to all the family members that have to wait to meet their newest arrivals to the family, I see you and I understand the uncertainty of it all, I wish you only the best and may and your newest bundles of joy stay safe. I hope you've realized how invaluable time is as we've spent more time inside at home with our family's and children in view of the fact we would not have had this much time together since Covid-19 halted our daily grind, hopefully you have reconnected and learned something new about your little ones/middle aged ones/or teenagers. I hope you see how important our health care workers are and how relevant they are to our overall healthcare structure and that they truly are at the front lines doing their damn best to aid all those that are sick and doing so selflessly because they have an urgency to provide top notch care to you or your loved ones. I hope some of you that have hatred and ignorance in your heart toward minorities/immigrants now truly understand those same people you have tried to ostracize are the same one still out there working the fields supplying your local grocery stores with stocked shelves of veggies and fruits that you so effortlessly place at home in your fridge or on your table. To those that look down on those that are servers, or those that work at grocery stores, may you now know you are no better and that they are the reason your family is still able to have cooked hot meals at home because they get up and show up to work everyday even through this pandemic putting themselves and their own families at risk. I will leave you all with this, live a life that would make your children proud to know you, live a life where you know you made a bigger impact for the greater good, live a life leading with a pure heart and good intentions because we only get one go around and where we end up in the after life should really matter to you because karma is real and you don't want to end up reincarnated as a fly eating and sitting atop a mound of horse shit. Till next week, stay home, stay safe & be the good the world so desperately needs. #ChiNative #MyBlogs #ThrowEmC #NewBlog #Covid19 #HowYouHoldingUp #Rants #EducationStartsAndEndsAtHome #PSA

Qaurantine & Snow - Spring is going great, no? (3/23 - 3/29) 

Hello folks, it has been a while since my last blog and I must say it wasn't because I had nothing to say or write it mainly has to do with me being busy and not dedicating much time to my blog writing. I wanted to write up a blog during our stay in Mexico but their reception was horrid and we had limited availability as far as connectivity and most days were spent filming and by the time we were unwinding it was late at night and I was hurried to post content for all our social media accounts. The grind doesn't stop except when it does, am I right? So by now you all are aware of the covid-10 outbreak and if you follow me on our Chi-Native Radio you know I have been talking about this for weeks since early January. It is crazy how many people are still talking about this not being that serious and they don't understand the need for businesses and sporting events to be shut down. This virus is spreading fast, its creating havoc abroad and starting to really hit us here at home, as of yesterday there have been more than 35,000 reported cases and yet you can still find dumb asses walking around on boardwalks, boating in Florida, walking around Target for non essential items as if this is a joke. We have been told to quarantine and stay home and there are so many talking about this is the beginning of a dictatorship instead of thinking of the thousands of healthcare professionals who are risking their lives daily to try and aid those who are sick when we know there is no cure, there is nothing proven to prevent death in the most vulnerable. I keep saying that until it hits you, a loved one, or your child you won't be thinking this is a joke, you won't be saying how silly all this is. I am baffled by how many people at the moment are still out and about as if nothing is wrong, I am also baffled by the amount of parents crying about school not being in session and they don't know what to do with their children. I swear we as a people are the worst, you folks expect everyone else to raise them, to provide for them, to entertain them while you simply call yourself a parent. It is beyond me how many people are saying they're bored at home and it literally has only been a few days for most cities during this lock down. I just watched someone I know throw a damn house party on Saturday like we weren't told to go into isolation and like morons his home was filled with people all within close proximity. In all this madness we have this fool of a President speaking absolute nonsense and lying to the American public about how great we are doing at containing this pandemic, he has lied about knowing how bad this was even when he was told about this in early December by the WHO (World Health Organization), he has lied repeatedly about getting test kits out to every city (which major cities still don't have), he has lied about our effectiveness at attacking this sickness, he has lied about everything and yet his supporters still scream from the rooftops "He's the greatest." I ask this, why doesn't every city have testing kits, why aren't we testing everyone we can, why hasn't "The Greatest Country In The World" given enough supplies to protect our medical staff? Why is he worrying about wall street, the airlines, the banking system instead of the hard working middle and lower class who get up everyday and really are the ones making sure America runs daily. Where is the hard working American's public bail out? Insider trading has happened with several well known officials dropping certain stocks and no one has blinked an eye but let that be any one else not born of wealth and privilege or within political reign and we would be thrown in jail to never see the light again. It sickens me that we the American people don't demand more from our leaders and make drastic changes to those currently in office who continue to look down on us and do nothing to ensure we can keep a rood over our heads and feed ourselves, our families. I was speaking to a client just last week and we were speaking about current events and the topic of rent came about and this particular client stated that if the tenants they have don't pay rent on time they will kick them out because it's not their problem and the government can't tell them anything because it's their building. I asked, "you would do that, you would make someone choose between paying you 1000's in rent versus feeding themselves or their children?" I looked them dead in their eye and said, "may you reap what you sow and may you never be given any aid should you ever need it." All the assholes being opportunist only thinking of themselves out here buying all the toilet paper, thermometers, and meds for only their economic gain and price gouging shit because they feel they can. I feel for the thousands of elderly who don't have family, for those who don't have transportation and don't have the availability to go to several stores to find needed items. for those who are living paycheck to paycheck and haven't been able to work since last week with no real date for their return to work.In this time, in this crisis it has become apparent who the real threat is and has always been, it has always been us, the human population. We think we know more than others, we refuse to listen when we are told what is needed or expected from us, we refuse to be still, stay home, we refuse to look out for others, we are the most selfish and disease spreading entities walking this earth. We humans only take, consume and destroy and then cry when there is nothing left for us to claim as our own, if this pandemic wasn't a wake up call nothing will help us, nothing will save us. I pray that many of you wake up, I pray many of you understand your responsibilities and take the needed measures to ensure we stop this virus and to stop thinking of only self, folks there is no I in team. In the coming days I pray we all can look toward one another as brothers and sisters as we should, I pray that we start to think of others and not just ourselves, I pray that we can do our part and follow the #StayHome orders and that we demand more from our elected officials and those that are showing their ass right now we do our due diligence and get them out of office because their job is to protect us the American public not their pockets or their elite counterparts. Till next time folks, stay safe out there. #ChiNative #MyBlog #ThrowEmC #Covid19 #StayHome #WashYourHands #PracticeGoodHygiene #SickStayIndoors #AreYouDoingEnough 



Is it Spring yet? (2/24 - 3/1) 

Howdy folks and thank you for coming back and I know I should have dropped a new blog for you all last week but truth be told a lot of times I discuss whats going on the radio show and if not there I may discuss them on one or more of my social media accounts so then it becomes do I want to sound like a repeat record? I also had a busy week last week as well as we had several business meetings during the week that lead to more late nights than usual and those in turn lead to real rough mornings the following day. Absolutely no complaints here, I am rather excited for where we are heading and how things have progressed so far as a unit. Moving right along, I wanted to re-discuss this whole coronavirus because at its original mention many downplayed how bad this really was and now it seems it may not be as little as it has been downplayed because reports are now coming out that we are indeed headed for an outbreak here within the United States and maybe our governments aren't really here for our best interest because initially China downplayed the severity and the US did not mention it to much as well.  I say that because now the WHO (World Health Organization) issued a warning earlier in the week declaring it a global health emergency and still there was silence within the United States media but then the CDC confirmed the concerns of the WHO by stating it isn't a matter of when it will hit the US it is a matter of how bad it will be and that every American should prepare for what's coming and that it will disrupt our daily lives. Someone that I follow had started posting images and reports out of various places like China, Korea, Italy, and Russia of the seriousness of the situation. There are grocery stores completely emptied in various parts of Italy and now Iran also has more than 80 cases reported that we know of. In Wuhan, China they have started to deadbolt residents in their homes but you won't find those videos on the internet although they have already been circulated on the internet through various social media outlets such as IG, Snap, and Twitter. I have seen multiple footage of residents in Wuhan trying to open their front doors only to find they have been dead bolted shut with maybe a 3-4 inch window to see outside their door. It has also now been reported that one of the cruise ships that had been docked out at sea during the initial outbreak didn't have the correct testing kits and did not accurately detect over 20% of their passengers that were indeed infected. We are also being told now that many cities and other countries don't even have the proper testing kits. I also mentioned on the radio show that United Airlines has cancelled so many flights due to current situation that they are unable to predict their 2020 revenue because of the uncertainty that lies ahead. So here we are, we are now being told this is way more serious than we know and have been lead to believe and now I ask are you prepared? I can tell you my family and I are not and what I can say is that we do need to prepare a little more for the worst possible outcome because if you stay prepared you don't gotta get prepared. I will be heading out today and stocking up on water and non perishable foods as best that I can and it is recommended to have at least (1) gallon of water a day per person. I follow a particular account on IG and they had posted their purchases from a company called My Patriot Supply and they offer various food supply packages and other survival products but as of this morning if you go on their website they are now stating they have had an uptick in demand and some orders may take up to (4) weeks to deliver. I was browsing their website and under their survival kits they had a "Ultimate Preparedness Kit" for $599.00 and it is sold out, kinda crazy to think some folks have already wiped out that particular product from their inventory. I know many people want to believe this situation is not something to worry about but then again ask a Native American if you think you should trust your government to do whats best for you and tell you the truths and we all already know the answer to that with their mass genocide and the whole stealing their homeland situation. I want to say let's hope it's like a bad storm we are suppose to get but by luck it bypasses us and we don't end up with the storm at all, but this is a huge world filled with so many people and what we do know is that it is highly contagious and we also know now is many people went undiagnosed in the very beginning that may have unknowingly spread the virus. I also want to take a moment to talk about the kids, those in school, colleges, day cares please ladies and gentlemen that are caretakers/parents. If your child is starting to show signs of illness don't just give these kids some elderberry syrup, take your children to the doctor for proper diagnosis and care so that we don't have to see or hear of anyone's loved ones suffering because we as parents didn't take the pre-cautions we needed to ensure their overall well being because we think we ourselves are doctors and stop listening to your mommy groups that are not doctors as well, modern medicine is needed to fight more than the common cold. I will hope for the best outcome for all of us in the world and I pray that this too shall pass. Till next week please take care of yourself, your family, practice good hygiene, make sure we keep our hands out of your ears, nose, mouths and wash or hand sanitize your hands frequently and if your feeling off and don't think its your common cold seek medical attention because we all matter and our loved ones still need us. #ChiNative #MyBlog #ThrowEmC #HowAreYouFeeling #AreYouPrepared #Coronavirus #WaterSupply #FoodSupply # AreYouConcerned 

It's almost the weekend! Hope your well (2/2-2/9) 

Howdy folks, I woke up this morning thinking it was Friday and I thought well I made it, only to figure out it was indeed Thursday. I spent all of yesterday extremely sick, I left work early and was in bed from 1 pm until 6:30 am today and I feel as if I have been bulldozed by 3 trucks and my abs are so sore from all the vomiting I did yesterday all I can think of is come on 2 pm because I am going straight home and hitting the bed once again. It is a funny thing when you get sick because your day just goes down the drain and whatever you had planned gets thrown to the side and nothing matters in those hours your laying in bed in pain dealing with cold swings, then hot swings, then the shakes. It definitely was not a good time and I wouldn't wish that on anyone, that said man this week seems to have dragged on but most of that could be due to my sickness for most of the last 2 days. I had to meet a client for training and that didn't happen, I was suppose to get some flyers printed and that didn't happen and I was suppose to send something off in the mail again and that didn't happen. I have just been reminded by my watch that my move ring didn't move much yesterday, um yes thank you for that reminder. I don't have much for you all this week, I am feeling a little beaten up and tired and I keep thinking of witty or interesting things to say and I got nothing. I am excited about the next few months though, if you had a chance to listen to us on Chi-Native Radio on Tuesday then you know how much we got to look forward to. The guys have a show on 2/10 at Inn Joy in Wicker Park and then in March we head to Mexico to film 2 music videos and a mini docuseries which we will release in several parts on Idealraps youtube, then in April we are off to Nebraska for a show. We also are currently working on the follow up for Music In The Woods which will be in August. So much to do and so little time which also means I got no time for being sick. I am looking forward to the warmer weather that is on the way as I believe we only have about 3 weeks of winter left and spring will be here. I am ready for the long sun filled days and warm nights where we are not bundled up with layers and waking up to darkness and going home from work in the dark as well. That is all I got for you all this week, short and sweet is what I'll call it, although if you were around or near me yesterday there was nothing sweet going on. I'll be back next week with more to chat about, until then take care of yourselves, your loved ones, and  make sure your work everyday towards your goals because they won't manifest themselves. #MyBlog #ThrowEmC #FeelingBlue #RestAndRecoup #HopeYourDoingBetter

I'm not feeling this week-you? (1/27-2/2) 

Hey there you guys, it seems like this week has really dragged on and at a slow pace, what do you guys think? I had originally started this blog post on Monday morning and then became so consumed with work both at my day job and with Chi-Native as I have started to prepare for the follow up to Music In The Woods Music Festival. I am sure by now we all are aware of the tragic helicopter accident that took the lives of 9 people on Sunday 1/25, Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gigi, Mr. & Mrs. Altobelli and their daughter Alyssa as well. In total 9 people lost their lives in such a tragic accident and we will never know why these things happen all we can do is rally behind those suffering and hold them in support. I came across a post on twitter that hit me: R.I.P to those whose names aren't being mentioned. Your life was equally important and blessings to the families for all parties included. I felt this statement although this was a tragic accident there are so many that have lost loved ones and they weren't mentioned or mourned publicly, their pain is just as equal. We all will suffer at some point an extreme loss, we all will suffer pain from losing someone dear to us, let us all remember those in their time of need and may we embrace them as well and not just those who reached super star status. That said the Grammy's were also held that same night (Sunday) and it really seemed so unimportant and irrelevant, I didn't bother to watch partly because it seemed silly to watch stars all dolled up celebrating their lives when others where dealing with extreme heartache and pain. In addition I don't necessarily like Alicia Keys as a host, to me she just comes off as trying so hard to show others she is authentically herself but I don't necessarily buy how she tries to sell herself to others. This ins't shade, she is just annoying to listen to and her weird smirk she always does makes me cringe, so watching her host the Grammy's wasn't on my priority list as well as there is just so much more going on in the world that celebrity shit just doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I am having an off week, I am normally full into the work mode but today and throughout the week I have been feeling like I am on the slowest train to the weekend and I won't ever reach my destination, like seriously. I love the weekends where I don't have too much to do and where I actually get some time to just be and not have to worry about where or what I need to be doing. It doesn't happen often but when I do get a down weekend I relish in that ish for real, I take every opportunity to do nothing besides hit the gym and then unwind mindlessly with some Netflix and a few refreshing libations. This past weekend we ended our Sunday with a studio session and it is really such an integrated process to see it all come together and when you are working with one of the best in the industry you really see how much better they make the track become. The guy we work with is truly talented and one of the best we have come across in the vast time we have worked at pursuing this music business. To see the whole song come together from artist vision to the mixing the engineer does and how he adds his own edits or as I call his magic it is mesmerizing because the end product is so much better than you could have imagined. It is so exciting what the crew is working on collectively and the vision that I.Deal had for this collective work is really showing his ability to produce hits and its amazing to see the 3 guys come together on a track, they are all so uniquely different but together so so dope. I do want to finish up this blog up with a few thoughts that have really hit home over the last week, I may have not known any of the passengers on that helicopter but what I do know as a mother myself is the undying love you have for your children and I can only imagine the torture Mrs. Bryant is going through with not only losing her husband but one of her babies. That said, life is hard, there will be times when it will be really hard, hard being a mother, a father, being a kid, a student, an employee, hell just being a grown up is hard. Relationships are hard, losing friends is hard, losing loved ones is hard, but some say with time it seems like it gets easier, but maybe we just get used to it being hard? I really don't know and I don't have all the answers either, the highs, the good times we experience in our lives can be so so good, but then the lows can be really really low, so we all try to do our best to find balance, right? Finding that balance isn't easy and can also be really hard so we all must love and seek out joy and bring those into our lives to share those feelings and experiences even if we know it may be temporary or fleeting, we have to choose to love our life even when its hard because it can be gone in an instant. Find the people that love you and love them back and love them unconditionally, shoot all the shots you want in life because we only get one go around. Life is complicated, it is weird at times, but one thing we are constantly reminded of is how fragile and amazing our lives can be, I pray you all will be ok when times gets hard and I pray you find or reach out to the helpers that are ready to give you a shoulder to cry on, they are there I promise you, you never have to walk alone even if you think you do. Till next week guys, be good to yourselves, be good to others and be the light in a world that can be really cruel and dark at times because we all could use some sunshine every now and again. xoxo, ThrowEmC #MyBlog #WeeklyBlog #ThrowEmC #MyThoughts #LifeIsHard #BeTheHelper #ShineYourLightn #YourNeverAlone

Tuesday - The most boring day of the week. (1/13-1/19) 

Hola mi gente,

     So here is Tuesday and by the way what is Tuesday's purpose in our lives, it is a whatever type of day, too close to Monday and too far from Friday, am I right? Anyhow, I hope you all are doing well and return to this work week refreshed from all your weekend activities and hopefully had more good times than not so good times. As always this blog is to reflect what's on my brain at a particular moment in time and this week there is something I want to discuss and it stems from instances where women have said to me, "I'm too old, I don't want my face in pictures." The first time it happened I was at a media event and someone asked me and this women to take a picture, but she declined. Now at the time,  I shook it off and thought to myself well maybe this person is particularly sensitive about aging as I am aware it does bother some people more than others. I go on with the night, so fast forward about 2 more months I'm at another event and a women asks me to take a picture and she is doing it for her social media platform and I'm there with my team and I oblige no big deal. Someone on my team turns to me and says they would like a picture with this women as well and I turn to ask her if she could take a picture with the team and she says to me, "Oh no, I don't like my face in photos, I'm too old for it." I'm puzzled because now in the span of two months I've been told by two different women in a business environment they don't like their face on camera because they have deemed themselves too old. Saying out loud to someone, I'm too old, I don't like my face, and no one wants to see me in these photos is so sad to me, sad for anyone to diminish themselves based on the idea of their age in numbers. I gotta let everyone know right now, neither woman were hard to look at, both fit, both gorgeous hair, very well put together, great smiles, I mean I just didn't and don't get what the issue was. Everyone knows them, they are regulars in the music scene and for them to say they can't turn the camera around on themselves because no one wants to see an old lady is crazy to me. I want to know who told them there was an expiration date to being in any one industry, who told them they shouldn't show their face because they aren't in their 30's, or 40's. Why do we allow outside voices or opinions of others to alter what and how we feel about oneself? I also want to mention I had seen probably about a year ago someone go after Trina on social media talking about she is too old to do music and when is she just going to leave and keep it to the younger ladies. These trolls are just funny, not only do most of them just sit behind a computer or phone screen in a dirty ass home with absolutely nothing going on in their lives, most of them wish for a fraction of not only her notoriety but also her monetary wealth. It baffles me that we as a society want to be all inclusive and don't want to bully each other and blah blah blah but we're still out here telling women when their time is up and to turn the camera's off. I mean why would both these women feel this way, again they are well known in the music scene here in Chicago so they are seen and quite often. In addition, I have also been told by an associate that they are in awe of how comfortable I am in front of the camera and how do I do it. Let me be the first to say I don't put myself out there to the world on my social media because I adore it, I do it so you all know this is me, I am a real person and to identify with me, I don't try to hide behind any facade. I don't particularly give any attention or thought to my age, but I never have either, the only thing I know for sure is I wake up every day thankful, thankful I get to see another day and thankful I am still here with a voice and in good health, my age doesn't ever cross my mind. I want to know why some think that there is a time clock to what a women should or should not do, how she should dress or not dress, what she should look like or not look like and matter of fact when her allure is no longer their definition of good looking! I am aware especially in the media that ageism is a thing but isn't it ironic that the ones that are "hot" now won't be in say 15 years? I mean they won't have that "it" factor as they do in the now but one thing for sure is, we all will age, we all will lose that "youthful" glow but that is a reflection that we have been living our lives and is that not the point? We are dying from the minute we are born, we age at such an astounding rate from infancy through adolescence and some may think of themselves as youthful but the reality is every dawn we wake some of our youth has slipped away while we slept. I say this though, what is most important is that we arise to see another dawn, another day to share in all the joys that life can offer , another day in which to create memories with those that matter most to us. To anyone out there worrying about what they look like, if their too old, to this, to that, stop and just be, because all we really know for sure is we got right now! Till next week my sweets, be kinder to yourself, to others, walk in the light, stop and smell the roses, do whatever makes your soul smile because happy looks the healthiest. #TillNextTime #Smile #SayCheese #LiveItUp #MyBlog #ThrowEmC 


Here we are January 2020 

Hey my babes, it definitely has been a minute since my last post but I did need some time away and we have been extremely busy here within Chi-Native. We did our first toy drive ever for The American Indian Center in Chicago and not only did we exceed our initial toy amount we crushed it. Our initial goal was at least 100 toys and at our last count it was over 250 toys and we were able to fill over two large tables for the Holiday event. I can not stress enough how much joy it brought us to be able to do something like this and for those that matter the most during the Holidays, the kids. I can't thank those enough, our family, our friends, and a few local businesses that went out of their way to help us collect toys, it really is magical to come together and do some good. We were also on break from Chi-Native Radio as our station took a Holiday Break during the last (2) weeks of December, we all got to enjoy some much needed down time and spend some quality time with our families. Those of you who may not have caught our radio return it was Jan 7th and we had a special guest in studio with us, Cruixe FX. The team had a good time talking about his upcoming year and what he has planned and we got the opportunity to play two new unreleased songs from his upcoming project he has in the works. This year the Chi-Native team will be working on finalizing several out of state shows as well as we will start planning for our Music In The Woods music festival follow up which will still be held in August but we have not confirmed the date just yet, stay tuned. So much is happening in the world right now, the poor devastation that has struck Australia, the war, the impeachment, not to mention the mad man in office constantly tweeting about his unfair treatment and as he calls it the "witch hunt is" that is happening, naw homie you've not done what's in the best interest of our country, you've only done what is best for you and we the people are over it. I really wish we could all see we are all human, we all need help from time to time and that we are all more alike than unalike. It appears in this day and age too many have forgotten we are one - the human race and together we can do so much more good versus bickering and tearing each other down. So, speaking of tearing each other down, what is happening with folks thinking it is ok to think out loud? Now I know your like what the hell is she talking about, and what I am referring to is this constant need from others to comment on other people's bodies especially those of women. Now I don't advocate that one type of body is better than the other, nor do I constantly try to push any agenda I may follow onto others because I know what works for me may not work for others and I am also aware that we each are dealing with issues that may affect our overall health at any one given moment in time. All this stems from the fat jokes and the meme's that have started and are trending in regards to Lizzo when they have used her image in regards to the war and as of most recent Tess Holiday who recently shared a front cover photo spread of her and her two boys for Parents magazine. It is appalling to see what people write to them or say about them as if what their bodies look like matters to the jerk writing comments behind a keyboard, more importantly from so called "fitness experts" like Jillian Micheal who say why are we celebrating their bodies? The nasty comments that people leave wishing death on them is horrid, like who the fuck are you?  I mean I don't celebrate anyone's body - big, skinny, average, short, tall, whatever because it's not my body, I don't house it, I don't live in it, so what does it matter and why would I care. I am over everyone thinking they know best, those that are smaller don't necessarily mean they are healthier, and a larger frame doesn't mean any less healthy either. Lets also not forget that each of us face different issues in regards to our own health at various times in our lives, I mean the last two years were hard as hell for me. I underwent knee surgery in late 2018 and took all of 2019 just to heal and it has only been within the last 3 months that I have been able to run without swelling and pain, on top of that right before 2018 hit I had to also underwent 2 hernia repair surgeries and let me be the first to tell you that was the most intense pain I have ever woken up from after surgery, I suffered so much pain and I struggled with my recovery for almost a year just in terms of my hernia repair surgery and I had several set backs from both surgeries. I gained more weight and on top of it had to deal with some gut health issues which I am still trying to figure out at this very moment. Am I skinny, hell no, am I overweight, yep but guess what- it fucking happens and not once did I stop working out and try to maintain some level of fit while enduring all these challenges. I have always been on the heavier side of the scale and only at one point in my life during my late 20's very early 30's was I able to get what others said was "skinny" and you know how I did it? I ran over 18 miles a day (ran for 1.45 hours on average) I then did a complete weightlifting routine (another 1.5 hours) and I didn't eat a damn thing unless it was a liquid protein shake or eggs, meat and cheese and I am serious that was the extent of what I would consume. I stayed within a 15 g a day carb count and if I felt like I didn't like what I ate, I threw that shit up. I got to my smallest at a size 4, started to experience extreme hip pain and to top it off I could no longer use the restroom without taking a laxative daily to help my stomach woes. That last part might be TMI but it is necessary so that others can understand, I may have been skinny but I definitely was not healthy, nor was my relationship with food or myself healthy. I ran (and I kept over 3 years of logs) on average 120-130 miles a week and never took a rest day, so I developed a slight hip fracture which required me to slow down my running completely and my doctors had warned me I had to stop my particular diet because I was going to cause irreversible damage to my intestines and once they stopped working they don't re-start. So did I get "skinny" yes, but was I happy? The real answer there is no, no I was not happy and my turning point came when my boyfriend started to pick up on my habits and he said something very simple to me - he said "isn't the point in all you do to be healthy?" He said, " you are not happy and vomiting isn't healthy so wherever your weight ends up being at so be it because your always going to be you and that's who I care and love." It was the simplest thing to say but once I heard that everything changed for me, I decided to stop trying to fit into a mold that I was never truly meant to fit into. I mean this mold that I assumed was healthy was received from all my fitness magazines and advise I would receive from fitness folks in the industry (let me tell ya, what they put their bodies through, how they deplete themselves for comps isn't healthy either) I just could no longer maintain and quite frankly I was exhausted, my damn workouts would take about 3.5 hours on a daily basis. At my leanest I weighed 156 lbs and was a size four and told my doctor I wanted to weight 125 lbs he told me that wasn't going to be possible based on my body frame and amount of muscle I was carrying and that trying to get that small would cause me more damage than good. It's crazy how tiny I got but in my head those numbers on the scale were the devil and I was chasing something that I couldn't reach nor did I need to, I was chasing a number that I had seen over and over in fitness magazines as my ideal target weight but it was in fact not accurate for me, my body, my health. I am not skinny, I probably won't ever be "skinny" again but I don't need validation from anyone, I have found my balance, I have found my happy. I am strong, I continue to workout and have finally started to be able to run again for 30 minutes straight through since my surgeries (that has been my biggest accomplishment to get back to it without pain). I no longer throw up (haven't in years) and I accept me for me, I don't  need anyone to like what my body looks like and even though I have gained weight (and quite a bit, lol) I am ok with where I am at because I will never cease in my fitness journey. I will continue to workout 6 days a week, continue to have a good relationship with food and focus on goals I set for myself and no one else. I am very healthy, matter of fact I just had a physical last week, my levels are perfect, my resting heart rate is 54 bpm and I have no major knee or hernia issues as those seemed to have finally healed. I don't think in terms of how much weight I need to lose, I just focus on the healthy choices I make daily for me, for my mood, for my overall self. Let's all stop worrying about others, let's stop comparing what one person looks like versus the other, let's all accept and understand one size does not apply to all and simply - just worry and focus on yourself because trust me everyone is a little fucked up and no one is perfect. Stop judging others houses when your own damn windows are dirty and if you don't house their body then what someone else does is none of your business. We are all just peanuts trying to become part of the peanut butter spread. Till next week folks, as always take care others and yourself, don't let others dictate to you your worth. xoxo #MyBlog #ThrowEmC #HowYouDoing #GotWeight #Healthy #OneSizeDoesNotFitAll #HealthyHasManyForms #NewBlog

Teaching consequences, it's never too early. (12/16-12/22) 

Hello and good day my peeps, so here we are another week is back upon us and I just want to take a quick moment to say hello and acknowledge all those that keep up with all the things we are up to here at Chi-Native. There never seems to be a lack for content to speak on especially these days whether we are speaking on politics, mental health or child rearing. That last part brings me to my topic for this week and that would be parenting choices in regards to teaching children actions and consequences. That said I have seen specific post more recently made by parents that seem to state things like the following: I won't discipline my kids because they are over rambunctious at a party, I won't discipline my kids because they are over stimulated and are acting out because of the stimuli around them, or I won't make my kids be nice to you because they don't necessarily know you. It isn't just these statements that I have witnessed but more the behaviors I have seen while out in public more and more and the lack of consequences given to children while out for their actions. Example: I am at a grocery store there is a kid running up and down an aisle just screaming like a maniac while the mother isn't paying this kid any attention but there is also a wet sign on the floor. As you can imagine what is to come, this kid survives the first attempt at running up and down the aisle but wipes out big time the second attempt. Not once did this mother attempt to tell her son, hey stop running you will fall and might hurt yourself, not once did she divert her attention to him and talk to this kid to address his behavior, not once did she bother to speak to this kid about what was wrong. Needless to say now the kid is full on screaming and now the mom is omg, the kid has a busted lip, the mom is screaming for a manager and when someone arrives shes blaming the store, questioning why the floor is wet, she wants an ambulance, she needs to file a claim. I mean it was ridiculous, she didn't once mention what really happened, she didn't once explain to her son what he did wrong once he calmed himself down (this kid was 7 years old, so this wasn't a walking toddler or baby guys) I just want to know when did so many adults begin to think that they don't need to teach their children discipline, respect, manners? When did so many adults decide that children do not need to learn and understand that every action has a consequence? Folks wonder why their children won't listen to them, why their children are constantly getting in trouble at school because they won't listen or sit still. Children should not be allowed to do as they please, nor should they be allowed to act as they please and it doesn't matter in what scenario we are talking about either because you just can't do as you please in a modern society, as adults we don't get to just do as we want all the time and say what we want on a day to day basis, we have consequences for our actions. Tantrums for instance, why do so many folks just allow a child to go insane whether in a restaurant or at a shop, it is crazy to me that any parent just ignores the cries and attempts for attention while those around have to listen to those high pitched wails and screams. A parent needs to gather their own child and go somewhere else and deal with what is ailing their child and not just ignoring them while out and about in public. Parents when your child is in someone else's home or at someone else's event and they are jumping all over the furniture, breaking stuff, opening doors and going from room to room which is not inside their home you most certainly need to grab your child and address the behavior and correct it and if your unwilling to tell your child they can not do as they please in a place that is not their home then I would quickly be asking you and your child to leave because I do not have to allow for their lack of discipline and boundaries within my own home. It is vital to understand lack of parenting in the early years turn into bad teen years again resulting from bad parenting and at this point there is no resolve on how to address your adolescent teens behavior because you lost your hold on authority early on in their development. Exploring next the notion that you don't have to make your child be nice to those they do not know, being nice doesn't mean being naive but it does promote patience and awareness of your self and expressions you give. I can't understand why any parent doesn't think a child should know what being nice is, even when one does not want to, I mean we all have bosses and we all don't like our bosses but we do know how to be appropriate and nice in not just behaviors but in speaking and reacting to them because if we did not and we didn't engage accordingly we wouldn't have that job that is required in order to continue to provide a roof over our heads or food on the table. Hey I know no parent wants to be told how to parent, but there is so much more to be said for the type of parents that allow these behaviors and say nothing to address them. We can not allow children to think the world revolves around them because it does not, we can not allow children to do as they please just because they are children, these are adults in the making and they require lessons and teachings, not to simply be left to act out atrociously and nothing be done to teach them about carrying themselves appropriately when out in the world that will not cater to them. We have to raise our children to be self reliant, to be aware, to be sufficient, to be accountable and strong when the storms are hard, how can one learn these things when they are constantly allowed to be childish? Again these are adults in the making and it is our job as parents to aid them in growing to understand we all can make whatever choices we want however every choice has a consequence whether good or bad and each individual must face those consequences. People tend to forget that every day as your child grows so does their world of awareness and if we don't start teaching these young children fundamental skills early on we fail them as they age into adulthood hence what you see more and more today, young adults still acting like children whining about why me and life is unfair instead of rationalizing their own actions had consequences leading them to their current situation. I am aware many won't or don't agree with how I view child raising, I believe in discipline and if that has to also include some spanking after we have discussed your behavior, done the timeout, done the grounding, then so be it, because in the end sometimes that spanking was just what was needed because that bad behavior ceases to exist. (Now I do not condone child abuse - so STOP there, but if a little spanking is needed to their thigh/bum then so be it, I grew up in the era as well as my parents as well as my own son where spanking happened as a last resort after we spoke and tried all other outlets to explore the bad behavior and guess what we all turned out just fine, most importantly we all know and understand actions have consequences) Until next time folks, it's just me out here speaking on what I see, expressing my views and hopefully someone can relate to what I am saying along the way. We are all trying to do our best, but children require more than just our best, they require everything we got and being a parent isn't always easy, children aren't always easy but neither is life. Till next week, may you all walk through your days with your head held high, proud of who you are, and an awareness that you matter always. xoxo. #ThisIsMyBlog #ThrowEmC #Tantrums #WildChild #OhMy #Discipline #GotSome #ChiNative #Blogger 

Mid Week & we got some things to talk about (12/2 12/12/8) 

So as I sat thinking earlier this week of what I would touch on this blog the content literally jumped out at me from the computer while I was searching for my "What's Going On" topic for our radio show. Part 2 of the RTT series popped up on my timeline featuring TI and Tiny which would be talking about their marriage and what had caused Tiny to finally file for divorce after so many years of ups and downs within their marriage (they have since sought counseling and worked through their issues and remain committed and together). Tiny said that what caused her to make the move didn't just stem from his extramarital affairs but it stemmed from all the years she sat idle allowing him to be the sole breadwinner and allowing him to call all the shots. She felt like she had lost who she was and had built up all this resentment towards him because not only did he control the household financially she had also allowed him to have her take a step back from her career. Now I did discuss this article during our radio show on Chi-Native Radio on Tuesday night and what I would like to continue to discuss is this notion that any women should ever think to just stay home and take care of home life. We are living in this time and age that requires both partners to work in order to maintain a household because it is not 1940 and it is not fair to assume that one partner should be carrying the load of an entire household. On top of just the financial what about the career that said women decides to give up, what about her wants and desires professionally and her drive? Where does all that go once she decides o.k I'm just going to stay at home and raise kids, then we get into the whole discussion of children and the fact that the women is at home 24/7 raising said kids while the husband is gone working all the time. How does said women find herself again, how does said women move forward in life when the children no longer need a mom 24/7 because they become young adults? Financial is just one part of this discussion but what really happens is the resentment that fills up within the women who now feel alone, under-appreciated and also realizes there is a loss within not just herself but within her own marriage. Tiny said that she felt unheard, unseen that she felt he no longer listened to her, but my thing is how can you expect those things when you sat idle on the sidelines for so long, how can you be mad that your partner no longer seeks you when you have allowed your role to diminish in terms of equality? I don't understand how any women can think I'll stay at home raise kids and if this marriage doesn't work out he owes me some kind of payment? I am not specifically speaking of Tiny in this instance but of so many women who choose to stay home and when the marriage fails and their husband leaves due to cheating these women feel they are owed some sort of financial wealth because they stayed home to raise kids. I am sorry but you don't deserve much of anything other than child support to aid you in continuing to raise the children you produced together. The reality why most marriages of this kind of arrangement fail is due in part that you have two spouses who no longer connect on any other level other than being parents to children they had together. You have two people leading two completely different lives and when your spouse does come home they most times are mentally not available and consumed within their day to day life that doesn't match the home life. This is exactly where the resentment comes from and it builds up over a long period of time and usually explodes into anger and constant fighting and that is what I took from what Tiny was saying happened within her own marriage to TI, it wasn't just his infidelity which I know strained them obviously but it was also all her pent up resentment that she felt because she gave up on her career and allowed him to be in control and she felt she had lost her own voice. Relationships are a lot of work, it takes constant checking in with your partner about their feelings, about their wants, about their desires and most importantly listening and communicating effectively about issues that arise. Women need to stop thinking that once in a relationship they should give up on their own goals to take care of and nurture their partner, prime example I can think of is that simpleton Khloe Kardashian. She is the type of women that got into every relationship threw on her cape and decided to be her partners everything and cater to all their whims and in the end she was cheated on and hurt repeatedly because she always chose her partner over herself and her partner. If you didn't get that last part read that again. She didn't choose herself and her partner she always chose her partner which left her without a voice always sitting on the sidelines like a puppy dog.  Relationships are a two way lane and compromise is always going to need to happen and it must come from both partners. Children don't fix marriages, so if you have a child or two together and your the primary care giver and your partner rarely helps and your upset and say nothing the resentment continues to pile therefore having more will only add to your load and most likely your partners lack of help in child rearing will continue to be the same, so be firm in your decision to additional children within the home, speak up, be heard that more kids may not be what you want and explain why. Staying home, being a maid, being your spouses 24/7 on call and everything won't aid any marriage either because eventually you become invisible again allowing that load of resentment to continue to grow because you harbor feelings of look at all I do for you and you don't care. Losing your sense of self and not having a life outside of your home and children will not aid your marriage because in the end , no goals, no ability to financially take care of yourself set you up to fail all while continuing to allow for one massive fight that reveals the ugly truths within your relationship/marriage which is you simply have no common ground to come back together on, there are no shared or common experiences to share outside of the children or home you have together. Do not lose yourself while taking care of others, do not lose your dreams, desires and goals to appease one person in a two person relationship. Women tend to want to not be honest in fear of losing or upsetting their partner, women tend to think they need to do it all and one thing we must learn is we are not suppose to be our partners mothers or their secretaries, you were someone before you met, married, and became one with your spouse so continue to do and find things that are unique to you so that you and your partner can come back together and actually have relevant things to discuss with one another, enjoy each others milestones and achievements not just one person's achievements. We don't live in the good ol' days, we live in the now and now requires more of us individually and together in order to allow for growth and continued connections within each other. You must take control over your own narrative and not forget you too are important, your goals and dreams matter as well, and you must remember ultimately it takes two people committed to being committed even when times are trying and difficult because the grass is not always greener on the other side it may just have been an illusion. Till next week my sweets, take care of yourself, take care of one another and most importantly learn to listen, learn to speak up because no one can read your thoughts. xoxo. #ThisIsMyBlog #ThrowEmC #ChiNative #YouMatter #SelfCareIsImportant #GotGoals